It's goodnight from me...

As the year draws to a close, I'm afraid I have some sad news... What, are you going to continue in the new year? Shut up, I didn't ask you. Keep your hair on! As I was saying. I have some sad news. Tomorrow we are going on holiday, and I will not be able to sustain my usual torrent of online wit... Who're you kidding? Do you mind? I'm busy. Anyway, on my return I would be able to start posting again, but I start school again on the same day. So until a good deal later, it's goodbye. See you in the new year!

Part Eight: The spiritual side

 A little while later, Mr. Torrall – the R.S. teacher – made an announcement in the staff room.  “The police are letting this matter get out of hand, so I’ve hired someone decent to clear this whole shambles up.”  “They won’t stay for long,” warned the head sarcastically. “As soon as they see what’s happened to me, they’ll be off in a flash!”  “Unlike your idea, headmaster, this one can be carried out in the safety of the school building,” retorted Mr. Torrall acidly. “I’ve hired a medium to find out who and where this killer is.”  “A medium!” spluttered the headmaster; spraying the tea he was drinking all over the staff room. “Don’t tell me you believe in that airy-fairy spiritual stuff!”  “I’m an R.S. teacher,” Mr. Torrall replied simply, “it’s my job.” And at that he walked out, looking slightly put out.

More on the Internet (or How to get the best out of your connection)

One of the main problems, or sometimes attractions, of the Internet is that it can do very strange things to your life. One of the strangest things is that it can be a help and a hindrance almost simultaneously, being both the perfect organisational, social and recreational complement to today's world and the distraction that can completely and utterly ruin your freshly organised, socialised and recreated world. It takes a gargantuan attention span not to wander even slightly, at worst close to indefinitely, from a task involving the world wide wonder, and - as I have found out several times to my cost - it can push everything else off your schedule pretty quickly. Having said all this, it's only fair that I put forward the other side of the argument, namely that one of the main problems/attractions of life is its strange effect on the Internet. Everyday goings on fill blogs worldwide, social networking sites allow similar people to come into contact, consumer demands cause more businesses to plunge into the age of the web. And, although it may not always be safe, it will remain interesting for evermore. The Internet may well doom us all, but who can imagine a more enjoyable doom?

The Perils of the Internet

Yes, perils. Small innocuous-looking web pages and features that, within milliseconds, have reduced your browser to a heap of smouldering code. Basically, what I'm trying to say in a rather roundabout and vastly exaggerated way is that I have, on this very day, been a 'victim' of a minor peril of my own. From this site, no less! Before I begin, I think I ought to say that I bear a grudge against neither Google nor Blogger. It would take somebody saving my life (or possibly paying a large amount of money into my bank account) to push either of them off the top of my 'people I didn't know about until they made a fairly large impact on my life' list. But I digress. On with the story! Actually, there's not that much to be said. For a few minutes, Blogger had a little panic and decided that the great evil hacker hordes had swept down on me and converted me into a super-fast, super-intelligent and undeniably evil piece of malware. Google soon cottoned on to this however. With the great, automated hand of Internet justice, they redirected me to their specially set-up apology site where I could view the aforementioned information but do no harm to the peaceful, law-abiding citizens of Google-ville. Eventually their system let me back on, none the wiser. Like all good stories, there is a moral to this cautionary tale. If a site doesn't like you:

1. It's probably not personal (although you never know).
2. If you wait, the problem may pass.
3. There are plenty of other places to go, if all else fails.

I'm back again...

...and I'm angry! Well... not exactly. I'm certainly worn out. But, after a hectic first few days of the holidays, I think I'm just about ready to settle back into the old routine again. So, let's tackle the important parts one by one, shall we? After my customer satisfaction survey, I find myself looking at a veritable mountain of comments. Then I switch back to my own blog, and see absolutely zilch. Such is life. Secondly, you may be interested to learn that I am touch-typing this entry. Not particularly special, you may say. But considering that none of my other entries are thus typed and that my WPM was, last time I checked, absolutely appalling, I think I'm doing OK. It's more like 'snail on caffeine' than 'snail on sedatives' now, at least. Thirdly, if all goes well, I will be blogging a little more frequently from now on (i.e. I will actually be blogging). This is because it is on a little list of things I would like to do. So now, you can enjoy my wonderful posts at any time! (Don't get carried away - Ed.*) Bye for now! * OK, so I don't have an editor, but I can dream, can't I?